The empty nest

“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven… So I realized that all we can do is be happy and do the best we can while we are still alive. We should eat and drink and enjoy what we have worked for. It is God’s gift”. Ecclesiastes 3:1, 12-13.

It seems only yesterday I was changing diapers. I remember the toddler years, the first day of school, the report cards, the walks in the park, the games… Life goes by so fast! Now, the teenage years are here and sooner or later, the kids will move on. In a short time, they will spread their wings and fly away.

Some kids are more anxious than others for that moment to arrive. In other instances, parents may be vehemently wishing for that day. Whether kids and/or parents look forward to that day or not, we must face it: a season has passed, another begun; and with it come unavoidable changes.

While the father is also affected, changes usually have a more intense effect in the mother, as the primary caregiver. Suddenly, she faces an empty nest, and what now is her reality sinks in: There is no one to care for, no one to look after for, and no one to need her. Sooner or later the question hits hard: What am I here for? What am I supposed to do?

Depending on my overall attitude toward life, I can look at the glass and find it half empty or half full. I can choose to get nostalgic, depressed, and lonely or I can look at this situation in a positive way, “throw a party” and make the best of my days.

As hard as it is for me to see them go, there is a “season for everything”. I must not stop living! An empty nest doesn’t need to be the end of my motivation. It can fuel and fire me up and help me reach new heights left unexplored. For couples, it can be a time of renewal, a time to grow closer to each other, a time to “fall in love” all over again.

I believe at this stage mothers need to take more time for ourselves and pursue our own goals too. Yes! We too need to fly again, why not? With all the expertise that raising and caring for a family puts under our belts, we have much to offer. Why not use it positively, to help others in some way? That alone, will take our mind off the loneliness that may be lurking around to cloud our days.

I'm sure my kids would love to see me succeed in whatever I decide to invest my energy in. Why not reach for the stars and dare to live some more? Why not learn some new skills, pursue my own dreams (whatever they may be), and share the love inside me with others around me? Why not surround myself with friends and reach out to make a difference in someone’s life?

I have the power to choose. My glass is not half empty, but half full. I can fill it with productivity or I can fill it with grief.

The empty nest is just a part of the cycle of life. And a mother will always be a mother. Thou for some it may be easier than for others; we can plan ahead and strive to continue to live a positive and meaningful life that inspires others and our own kids too!

Are you preparing for the empty nest? Are you experiencing it already? Each day is a new challenge, a gift from God. Greet it with thanksgiving! Make the best of it and fly! See the beauty of it all? Now, that wasn’t so bad after all, was it? Wondering why it took you so long to spread YOUR wings and fly?

Dear heavenly father: I know you care for my children, no matter what the season may be. Each season has a beauty of its own. I am thankful for the time you have given me to nurture my family. As they spread their wings and fly I know that you will keep them safe. Help them reach new heights that bring them closer to you. And may I too soar, for the glory of your name.

©Rhodi Alers de López, 2004